Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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