i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
