she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize