my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
