i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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