I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
