he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
