dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
