You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
