Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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