Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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