I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
