look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
