I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Randomize
