i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
