That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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