Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You pole danced in your parka.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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