they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
