we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
