I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
