i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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