Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
