Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Randomize