Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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