I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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