Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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