When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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