I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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