you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
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