i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
