it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
