I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
