It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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