I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
