nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
