The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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