He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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