Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
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Do I have a choice?
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I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Randomize
