Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
