you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
