she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You ruined the universe
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize