I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
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