did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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