I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Let's paint friendship bongs
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
