Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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