I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
