Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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