Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
