i permit you to call me
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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