Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
