I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
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