next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
