Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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