all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Randomize
