Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
