porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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