he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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