Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize