when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
