Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
