She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
