Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
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