i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
