shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
you never un-have a 4some
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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