I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
