He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
