I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
