guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize