She's JV to your varsity
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
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