get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
