Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Randomize
