You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize