FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize